I was trying to understand why this death affected me as much as it did. I didn’t know Chester personally, but I felt that I did know him on a personal level; through his music and lyrics. I think on some level, we all felt the same way.
To the people who don’t understand, depression is not just about being “sad”. Depression is living in a body that fights every day to survive, with a mind that is begging to die. It is a demon that many people around the world have to live with. Concealed in their own thoughts, while on the outside they are giving off the genuine look of positivity and happiness.
I have lived with depression since I was a teenager. It is not always apparent, and I do have my “good” happy days. But other days it just consumes me, and I just deal with it. It never leaves. It is with me 24/7. It is a mental illness.
Suicide is not cowardly. Nobody wants to die, they just want to make the pain stop. And sometimes it is hard to speak about it, or try to reach out to people. You feel like a burden. When you’re that deep in the darkness, you cannot control your thought; your thoughts control you.
Try to understand the pain some people deal with. Empathize with them; don’t pity them. Put yourself in somebody else’s shoes before you judge them. Reach out to everyone occasionally, just to see how they are. You never know what somebody is going through.
Be kind to each other. You will be missed Chester. My thoughts go out to your wife and beautiful children.